You're almost there! While your application is mostly acceptable, there are still a few areas where tweaking is needed.
» We would like to see an expansion on the wish. Right now we're seeing the mentality behind the wish, but not the circumstances surrounding it, the outcome, or the result. » Rui's passive power lacks any significant downside and reads as very overpowered, with a significant risk of infomodding. We ask that you please tone this ability down and ensure that a permissions post is created so that players can say how much they would like Rui to know about their character's strengths and weaknesses. » Rui's active power also seems to count as two powers, given that the ability to teleport others seems to be done through his shield. We ask that you either alter it to have the shield itself be the teleporter, or you change it so that Rui must be touching whoever he wants to teleport. » A new or expanded sample, showing off Rui's thought process and voice.
As an addendum, please ensure you have a space between paragraphs. The application is somewhat difficult to read as it currently is.
You have 72 hours to get back to us with the necessary revisions, or your application will be rejected.
REVISIONS
Revisions
You're almost there! While your application is mostly acceptable, there are still a few areas where tweaking is needed.
» We would like to see an expansion on the wish. Right now we're seeing the mentality behind the wish, but not the circumstances surrounding it, the outcome, or the result.
» Rui's passive power lacks any significant downside and reads as very overpowered, with a significant risk of infomodding. We ask that you please tone this ability down and ensure that a permissions post is created so that players can say how much they would like Rui to know about their character's strengths and weaknesses.
» Rui's active power also seems to count as two powers, given that the ability to teleport others seems to be done through his shield. We ask that you either alter it to have the shield itself be the teleporter, or you change it so that Rui must be touching whoever he wants to teleport.
» A new or expanded sample, showing off Rui's thought process and voice.
As an addendum, please ensure you have a space between paragraphs. The application is somewhat difficult to read as it currently is.
You have 72 hours to get back to us with the necessary revisions, or your application will be rejected.